13 Good Neighbor Lessons We Learned from Mister Rogers

Conflict is a natural part of community

Fred Rogers didn’t try to pretend that bringing a diverse group of people together in one neighborhood was easy. In fact, from the get-go, Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood addressed that people everywhere had differing opinions and perspectives. When the puppet King Friday XIII, the reigning monarch of the Neighborhood of Make-Believe, responds to new neighbors by putting up a barbed wire fence, the neighborhood reaches out with peaceful concern. Coming from a place of compassionate worry, the two sides were able to come to a mutually beneficial solution.

People with different beliefs can coexist

Mister Rogers often used his character King Friday as an example of someone whose strong beliefs, fears and sometimes unsettling actions could be met with peaceful communication. In one instance, members of the Neighborhood of Make-Believe sent the frustrated king balloon messages bearing their own concerns and wishes. When one side attempted to understand where the other was coming from, calm resolutions could be achieved.

People have authentic value

Mister Rogers always closed his show reminding the audience, “I like you as you are.” It was an important message to send to children, who often feel like they are different or less than their peers and grownups. Instead of focusing on what kids could change to be “better,” the sweater-wearing TV icon communicated how important it is to love oneself as you are right now. Instilling this sense of confidence in children and loved ones is just as important today.

Love your neighbor and love yourself

Despite Rogers’s background as a Presbyterian minister, Mister Rogers the character didn’t focus on religion. Instead, he was an example of someone who could be open to hearing other people’s opinions without diverting from his values. This characteristic is something the world could benefit from practicing today. Listening to the other “side” doesn’t mean you have to give up on what you believe, it simply makes your world more diverse.

Be a good listener

Mister Rogers didn’t preach good listening skills in the typical sense, which to many could mean just being quiet so someone else can share information or speak their peace. Instead, he encouraged viewers to truly pay attention to what the other person is saying, and to listen with not only your ears, but your eyes, heart and soul. Words mean very little if we’re not open to understanding the feelings and thoughts behind them.

We respond best when there’s an attempt to understand

Mister Rogers stressed making heartfelt attempts to understand a differing opinion–before uttering a response. He felt that the very act of learning where others are coming from can help you react with increased care and rationale. In today’s world of social media retorts and arguments, there’s never been a better time to practice this lesson.

Treat everyone with respect

This lesson might feel like a no-brainer, the kind of thing any child learns in kindergarten. But Rogers didn’t only say the words, he also illustrated the point visually. During a time when Black people weren’t allowed to swim in the same pools as White folks, the Pittsburgh native used his show to speak out against segregation. He invited series regular Officer Clemmons, played by African-American actor Francois Scarborough Clemmons, to cool his feet alongside him in a kiddie pool during a segment. This showed one of the most valuable Mister Rogers neighbor lessons: inclusivity. We need to remember that we’re all in this great, big, crazy world together.

Be a helper

One of the most famous and heartfelt things Fred Rogers ever said was, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'” He held that conversation close to his heart until his passing in 2003, resting peacefully in the knowledge that there are still caring people ready to help. When considering your place in the community, be a helper.

Don’t be afraid to discuss the tough stuff

After taking a brief absence from children’s television, Rogers came back in the 1980s with a series of episodes that tackled serious issues for kids. He discussed heavy topics like death and divorce, but did so in a relatable way that wasn’t condescending. Mister Rogers opened up lines of communication for kids who may not otherwise have had an outlet for such conversations. Today, with children facing a multitude of outside challenges, it’s helpful to remember that their innate emotions and feelings are just as curious and delicate as ever before.

Build people up

Fred Rogers was a big proponent of instilling confidence in people, pointing out their greatest assets as opposed to critiquing their weaknesses. He could find a point of understanding in just about everyone. “I think those who try to make you feel less than you are—that’s the greatest evil,” he said in an interview that appeared in the documentary Won’t You Be My Neighbor? Find a connection and offer support to neighbors, with the hope that they will return this in kind.

Expect and accept mistakes

No one is perfect, not even the seemingly wonderful Mister Rogers. He was very much aware of this, which is why one of his greatest lessons to viewers was to expect and accept mistakes. By doing so we not only learn to be less hard on ourselves, but others as well. Embracing imperfections is a simple way to make more out of life.

What is essential in life is invisible to the eye

During a public speaking engagement, Rogers paraphrased a popular quote from The Little Prince—that what is essential in life is invisible to the eye. “What changes the world?” he asked. “The only thing that really changes the world is when somebody gets the idea that love can abound and can be shared.”

Take time to think about someone who has helped you

During stressful times, we may off-handedly thank those around us for their helping hand or a kind word. During his speaking engagements, Mister Rogers often asked his audience to instead take one full minute to think about someone who has really helped them in life. Doing so might bring a tear to their eye, a smile to their face or warmth to their heart. Adding this simple practice to everyday life not only makes us a better neighbor, but a more grateful person as well.

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Sources:

• Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood: ‘The Messages”
• Fred Rogers Institute: “The Not-So-Invisible Essentials of My Practice”
• Fred Rogers Institute: “The Fred Rogers Archive”