130 Fall Puns That’ll Give You a Gourd Reason to Laugh This Season

The funniest fall puns

• I think I’m really falling for you.

• When my dad gets here, get ready for acorn-y joke.

• The weather is perfect for a drive in my autumn-obile.

• I’d enjoy fall more if the celery wasn’t stalking us.

• My favorite Bonnie Raitt song is “Let’s Give ‘Em Pumpkin to Talk About.”

• My favorite fall wardrobe addition: a har-vest.

• I’ve been at the gym all day pumpkin iron!

• Our vegan guest noticed the Thanksgiving dinner was fowl.

• Tonight’s movie of choice: Gourd of the Rings.

• My family says chocolate cake is the best Thanksgiving dessert, but pie beg to differ.

• Who says that money can’t pie happiness?

• That’s just how I roll—pumpkin style.

• Don’t be a jerk-o-lantern.

• I’m latte-ly obsessed with autumn.

• Time to bundle up and leaf the drama behind.

• Let’s autumn-atically have fun.

Autumn puns for kids

• I can’t decide if I’m gourd-geous or just beauti-fall.

• My brother thinks he’s soup-erman because chili is his kryptonite.

• I yam hungry for some cranberry sauce.

• Here comes a-corny joke!

• My math class has me all corn-fused.

• I’m berry happy to meet you.

• Don’t tell anyone, but I think I’m falling for you.

• I almost got suspended, but then I turned over a new leaf.

• They asked the turkey to join the band because it already had drumsticks.

Pumpkin puns

• Orange you glad you’re not squashed?

• That guy has really gone to seed!

• They carved a hot dog onto the pumpkin, so now it’s a hollow-weenie!

• You’ll never stem my desire to carve a jack-o’-lantern!

• Pumpkin in the way she moves attracts me like no other lover.

• It was great patch-ing up with you!

• You look great—have you been pumpkin iron!?

• My favorite Beach Boys song is “Gourd Vibrations.”

• I hope you can carve out some time to be with me.

• I’d like to introduce you to my gourd-geous girlfriend.

• You’re the pick of the patch.

• I’m totally smashed … on pumpkin pie.

• No tricks, just treats and gourds.

• You’re gourd-darn adorable.

• I only have pies for you.

Apple puns

• You are apple-solutely my favorite person!

• My boyfriend is a hard-core romantic.

• That man is romantically a-peeling to me.

• My favorite fall Chinese food is apple-picking duck.

• Your outfits are always so well core-dinated.

• My therapist said I deal with a lot of deep-seeded resentment.

• I’m sorry. I’m not peeling myself today.

• When I nap with my dog, I just lay down be-cider.

• Anyone want to play hide-and-go-seed?

• I apple-ogize for waking you up so early this morning.

• Keep calm and cider on.

• How pear-fectly sweet.

• It’s the most picking-ful time of the year.

• You’re the apple of my autumn.

• I’m just here for the apple-y- ever after.

• Core-ect me if I’m wrong, but fall is the best.

• This orchard is the apple-tome of fun.

• Apple picking in the fall is tree-mendous fun.

Tree puns

• I’m always rooting for you.

• You have so many interests–you really branch out.

• She has me in the palm of her hand.

• His bark is worse than his bite.

• Every day, I pine for you.

• Just give me five minutes to spruce up.

• Hey, don’t be a sap!

• Wood you be mine?

• They are accusing him of tree-son!

• Could you help me log in to my computer?

Thanksgiving puns

• She entered the kitchen and was surprised to find the turkey dressing.

• My pies have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.

• The day after Thanksgiving, she became vegan and quit cold turkey.

• Oh, no. I can’t November where I left the cranberry sauce!

• I just want you to know that I consider you my baste friend.

• Let’s go to a turkey farm and watch the poultry in motion.

• Did someone steal your turkey? That’s fowl play!

• I was going to use a turkey recipe, but I decided to wing it.

• My favorite Bruce Springsteen song: “Corn in the USA.”

• We don’t want to scare you, but we think we have a poultry-geist!

Football puns

• I must admit, your argument makes several valid punts.

• My wife always enjoys huddling with me in bed.

• If you want to see a movie this weekend, I’m wide open.

• I lost some weight, so I finally have a tight end.

• That politician’s remarks were way out of bounds!

• Feet off the couch! It may be game day, but this is nacho house.

• I finally tackled everything on my fall to-do list.

• Great job on the Thanksgiving dinner—you scored!

• Don’t touch that turkey, it’s my personal fowl!

• I finally got paid and was able to give the coach his quarter back.

Camping puns

• I’d like to bring my friend on the camping trip, but he can’t bear it.

• You should get a massage before our trip—you’re very tents.

• This campfire dessert is tasty. Want s’more?

• I camp find the instructions to set up the tent.

• I would be fine staying at this campsite forest of my life.

• When on a camping trip, I always wake up feeling pine.

• Let’s invite the mushroom on our camping trip. He’s a fungi.

• Ghosts must enjoy the boo-tiful camping views.

• My friends love to tent-ertain with camping trip singalongs.

• We encountered a toothless grizzly at our campsite—talk about a gummy bear!

Halloween puns

• Halloween is my favorite horror-day!

• You may think I don’t love you, but I really do scare for you.

• You look spook-tacular.

• I’d like you to meet my mummy and deady.

• You really are my best fiend.

• Fangs for not coffin on me this cold-and-flu season.

• I know folks have issues with him, but he’s not a bat guy.

• That witch doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.

• Dinner is ready—bone appetit!

• I made this Hungarian ghoul-osh just for you.

Leaf puns

• My doctor says I’m healthy—what a re-leaf!

• My favorite explorer is Leaf Erikson.

• For the last time, leaf me alone!

• I love that classic TV show, Leaf It to Beaver.

• You would not be-leaf the day I’ve had!

• That ghost story was scary beyond be-leaf!

• I don’t understand why my girlfriends always leaf me.

• A wise tree once told me, “Leaf and let leaf.”

• I’m burnt out, so I’ll be taking a leaf of absence.

• My father is having a mid-leaf crisis.

• Don’t leaf me hanging.

• I’m raking in the compliments.

• Leaf it all behind.

• Let’s turn over a new leaf this fall.

• Rake it or leaf it.

• Let’s leaf a little room for dessert.

• You’re the wind beneath my leaves.

• A-leaf it or not, I love fall.

• It’s time for a leaf peep adventure.

• Leaf happens.

• Let’s leaf reality for a while.

Why trust us

Reader’s Digest has been telling jokes for more than 100 years, curated and reviewed over the last 20 years by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons, a humor editor formerly of National Lampoon and the author of Now That’s Funny. We’ve earned prestigious ASME awards for our humor—including comical quips, pranks, puns, cartoons, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles, memes, tweets and stories in laugh-out-loud magazine columns such as “Life in These United States,” “All in a Day’s Work,” “Laughter, the Best Medicine” and “Humor in Uniform,” as well as online collections such as short jokes, dad jokes and bad jokes so bad, they’re great. You can find a century of humor in our 2022 compendium, Reader’s Digest: Laughter, the Best Medicine. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.